What Defines Maturity

Last night, I had a petty argument with my 35 year old boyfriend Darth that became big when he all of a sudden brought the argument online. He posted messages in a language he knows i dont understand and made sure that its hard to translate it in Google. He said that he just wanted to express his feelings thats why he did it.

So can't help but wonder, does being mature means being able to pay your credit card bills? Is it by being able to enter clubs because you're over 18 years old? Is it by being able to vote? Or is it by being able to screw things up and still have the power to redo things?

One thing that I have realized is that age is never a guarantee for maturity. Some say that its what you have learned in school, read in books, things you have learned in the places that you've been mixed with life experiences and the things your mentors in life has told you. But seriously, what defines maturity?

HOW TO TAKE CARE OF A BOIL (PIGSA)

A week ago I I got a boil (pigsa) in my left outer thigh, just right beside my left butt cheek. I never knew what to do because it has been years since i got one. 

I left it unattended for the first few days and  i self medicated with amoxill 500mg 2x a day, which later on my Doctor told me that it was a very weak dose.

Now, what should you do if ever the same thing happened to you?

First, consult your HIV treatment hub Doctor, so that he/she can give you further instructions

But if that's not possible for you at the moment. Let me tell you how to clean the wound yourself (as how I have seen my doctor did it).

1. make sure that when the boil is about 4 or 5 days old already and has popped, press a cloth soaked in warm water around the boil to help press the puss out.

2. make sure to get all the puss out, then soak a gauze in Hydrogen Peroxide and then insert the gauze in the hole and cover the entire thing with more Gauze. do this 2 to 3x a day

3. an ordinary antibiotic wont do, my doctor recommended Sultamicillin 2 a day for a week. But with this one, you really have to consult with your Doctor.

To All Friends And Family Of Erwin

Note: This message is not intended to deface Erwin's memory. In fact, we should all pay respect for his courage.

My name is Gboy, I am a silent advocate for HIV awareness. I myself is HIV positive since March of 2013. Eversince then, I have dedicated my time in reaching out to gay men online and share them my story and eventually convince people to take the HIV test. I was basically his HIV counselor.

About 4 months ago, I met Erwin in a social media website for men, he told me that after reading my blog, he suspects himself to be HIV positive because of the condition his health is in. I convinced him to take the test but he refused because he does not know where to start, or where to get the courage. He was scared of people finding out... He was scared of being judged, and most of all, he was scared of finding out the truth.

When he finally took the test. he called me and told me that the result is HIV stage 4, which is well known as AIDS. I told him to relax and assured him that everything will be alright now that he took the first step in taking care of himself. We even chatted every now and then giving him tips on staying healthy.

I told him to go straight to RITM or the Research Institute for Tropical Medicine in Alabang for free cd4 testing, and free medication. I told him to go ASAP so that the doctors will know how much damage the virus has done to his body. He said that he will be going there as soon as he regains his strength.

I just got a text from his partner that he passed away last August 8, 2013. the news came as a shock to me because we were even calling each other a few weeks ago. I may not know him that much, but I am deeply saddened by this...

I hope that we consider his passing as a wake up call. do not be blinded, HIV is real and it is killing people. We should not treat them as an abomination but give them understanding, emotional and financial support. it is hard enough dealing with the battle to stay healthy everyday, let us not add up to their burden by judging them.

And I seriously recommend that we should all refrain from blurting out negative remarks on HIV for it only adds up to the stigma. And if somebody opened up to you about his/her condition, never change the way you treat them, that's exactly what people like me are most fearful of.

To Erwin, you will be missed sorely. I hope that you put in a good word for us up there. I can see that many people loves you unconditionally and I hope it remains that way regardless of how you left us. I pray that people will always remember you as jolly, helpful, talented  and larger than life.

How to Prevent Getting HIV?

HIV prevention is just as easy as ABCDE

A - Abstinence: this is hard but it's the most effective way to not get HIV
B - Be Faithful: if you have a partner make sure that you remain faithful to each other
C - Condom: CORRECT and CONSISTENT use of condom should be together, never allow yourself to slip
D - Don't do Drugs and Alcohol: this can lead to casual unprotected sex
E - Education: they say 'know your enemy' well that is very true, read more about HIV, Knowledge is Power

READER'S MESSAGE: 003

hi there, i admire your advocacy. i'm not hiv positive, but spreading information about this here is really a great contribution.

kudos to you!


i'm a social entrepreneur. i help support foundations and organizations thru financial sustainability. maybe we can help your cause. i am currently working on advocacies for LGBT communities in the Philippines.
my name is xxxxxxxxxx, 09XXXXXXXXX. msg me if you want to share ideas. i am just here to learn more about different advocacies in our platform.

matty32

READER'S MESSAGE: 002

ok, uhm last year aug 14 me and my bf became official then we had sex on the 17th same month, it was unprotected and on top of that he released it inside, my ex was 2 years younger but in this generation hiv doesn't pic age right? so 1hour after we had sex i started doubting then he saw that i'm taking a medicine, he asked me "whats that?" and i replied that its a medicine because i'm an hiv positive but it was just a joke it is actually a mefenamic acid because i had a toothache that time, then after when we went in our own houses i texted him straight to the point "are you an hiv positive? im just curious because it is my 1st time to have unprotected sex please be honest" his reply was "hindi ah. grabe ka naman magisip" then i didn't think of it anymore. Few days before the month ends i broke up with him due to some childish issues. then it all started here...... i was the one who broke up with him but i'm the one who's badly affected, due to "depression" (i think) i lost my appetite and got myself wet because it was raining that time i didn't took a bath for 2days because of that break-up. then when i woke up i had sore throat and fever, the fever lasted for 3days but the sore throat was 4-5days i think, its hard to swallow solid food that's why the only thing that's in my stomach was liquid like juice and softdrinks for 2-3days before i started to eat. i also had a rashes, at first it was like 5-7 spots scattered in my face and as the days pass it multiplied like i don't know how many are they, there are some in my arms, back, chest and neck it wore off after like a month. those illness occur at the same time. i tried to self medicate for my sore throat but my fault was i took the medicine that has a side effect and taking it without eating and ended up having a heartburn for a month after the sore throat. then i became paranoid, what if those are the symptoms of hiv? i googled it and those tears started to flow from my eyes because i had some of those symptoms. i actually lost a lot of weight that time, and now i only gained like only 10% of the weight that i lost, anyway last feb 2013 consulted this to a doctor and his assessment was 80%negative and 20% positive(because of my doubt and kapraningan daw) he told me to get tested but i insisted.

i am really doubting with my ex but i cant accuse him. i noticed that he doesn't have any vices although he drinks but only occasional he always sleep early and that's all i know in his lifestyle. i am so paranoid about this.

he is the last person i had sex, no sexual intercourse happened with someone stranger because i have to be cautious even if it is too late to be.
what if i am positive? i'm still not ready to give-up my vices, and i am bound to lose some of my friends because of that. i don't know how will i'm going to live my life if i am infected. i am also afraid to turn my parents down. that unprotected sex only happened one time and i was hoping that if i ever get tested, negative would be the result.

doobidoo (name changed upon sender's request)



The response to this email has been sent privately as per sender's request

READER'S MESSAGE: 001

hug to you man. such a brave person you are to embrace positivity in life.

I am honestly indifferent with HIV positive but I am in the process of educating myself about it.

I am so paranoid for the past month that I can't even imagine my life being infected. I am glad I'm negative.

I'm so active for the past six months as well but I'm controlling it now. maybe the only difference between us is that I am always protected.

in my entire sex life, four times I got paranoid because of unsafe sex. only this time I told myself never to engage in such.

anyways! may the good force give you strength to face this big step of your life.

and I can't stay thumbs up but continuously radiate the good "positivity" you're bringing to our community.

IamErald

What Happens During HIV Testing?

I got tested by an organization called the Love Yourself, they are a group commited to HIV education and prevention in the Philippines, streamlining HIV and removing the stigma attached to it. Many people, aside from being afraid of the HIV testing result, are also afraid to get tested because they don't know what happens during testing. Let me tell you the steps:

• Pre-test Counseling - They will simply talk to you and inform you things about HIV, the objective of this is to provide basic knowledge about HIV/AIDS. While discussing, the counselor will also ask a few questions to assess the risks of the person in terms of HIV/AIDS

• HIV Testing - They use the Rapid testing which is just as accurate as EIA. They will take your blood and this is administered by a medical technologist who is well trained and is HIV proficient.

• Post-Test Counseling- the client together with the counselor will discuss the result of the test in a confidential manner. Regardless of the result, they will always be ready to talk to the client about  behavioral changes. If ever the result is positive, they will help you and tell you the next steps.

It is very important to know your HIV status, we can only determine that by testing and not by observing your body.

One more thing...

I was chatting with a guy on PR when I finally realised the most important thing that the people are scared of thats why they don't wanna get tested...

its not because maybe their friends might find out he got tested
its not because they are worried that the needles are unsanitary
its not because they might get judgemental looks in the clinic while being tested


It is because they are scared that the result might be HIV+

Again, the only way for you to know your HIV status is not by observing your body and the sensations you feel inside it, but by getting the HIV test.

Check out the Testing Centers tab here in my blog to see the list of FREE, SANITARY & CONFIDENTIAL HIV testing centers near you.

My Symptoms

A lot of people have been asking me about  the symptoms that I have felt before realizing that I am HIV positive. 

To be honest, the way HIV show its symptoms actually depends from person to person, for example, I was operated for appendicitis, and had cases of soar throat, fever, headache, and colds, well that's just me. Other people might experience a combination of these, or much worse like cancer, tubercolosis, pneumonia etc. 

My partner however had endless cases of cold soars around his lips, toungue and gums, he also experienced coughing for two weeks and had diarrhea.

Symptoms depends on how tough your immune system is.

The best way to know your HIV status is not by observing your body but by getting the HIV test asap.

I Think I know Why You Are Scared To Get Tested

One of the greatest problems that we are facing right now when it comes to HIV (aside from lack of funds) is the stigma among gay people. It is when PLWHIV experiences maltreatment, prejudice, abuse, negative attitude in the community, church, education settings, even in hospitals and the worse of all, by their own family.

It exists not just in the Philippines but worldwide. This is why too many people are afraid to get tested for HIV because they are afraid, therefore helping the virus become the silent killer and advance to AIDS.

The reason why there are stigma are as follow:

• HIV/AIDS is a life-threatening disease, and therefore people react to it in strong ways.
• HIV infection is associated with behaviours (such as homosexuality, drug addiction, prostitution or promiscuity) that are already stigmatised in many societies.
• Most people become infected with HIV through sex, which often carries moral baggage.
• There is a lot of inaccurate information about how HIV is transmitted, creating irrational behaviour and misperceptions of personal risk.
• HIV infection is often thought to be the result of personal irresponsibility.
• Religious or moral beliefs lead some people to believe that being infected with HIV is the result of moral fault (such as promiscuity or 'deviant sex') that deserves to be punished.
• The effects of antiretroviral therapy on people’s physical appearance can result in forced disclosure and discrimination based on appearance.

We can fight Stigma. Yes we do need laws and policies for that, but it starts with the courage to speak out, with openness. We need more people who are unafraid to talk about HIV. So yes it is okay to ask question about it.


Source: http://www.avert.org/

Have Yourself Tested

I hope I can help other poeple by spreading the information about HIV. I encourage everyone to get tested for HIV. It is very important to know your HIV status. the tests are free as well as the medication

I am reaching out to those who are scared to get tested because of the stigma:

If you think you want to get tested but cannot muster the courage, and if you think that you are positive, at least do these;

1. from this point forward, if you think you are positive, abstain from sex or use condoms ALL the time
2. stay healthy, eat yogurt, take multivitamins, excercise, have enough sleep, avoid stress
3. quit drinking alcohol, smoking and drugs if applicable
4. have yourself tested once you get the chance.

Rest assured that those testing sites will treat you with discretion and respect... Kung sa tingin mo positive ka at least maaga pa lang alam mo na para ma maintain mo na yung immune system mo, at para na rin hindi pa ito kumalat. And consider it as God's blessing kung negative ka

How I Got The Desease

Ok so there are a lot of people asking me in Planet Romeo why i got HIV if me and my partner are both practicing safe sex. My fingers are starting to hurt typing the answer to each and every person :) so here you go:

Both of us have been sexually active even before we met each other. During the past year that we have been together, we have practiced safe sex, but people make mistakes. Maybe it was transmitted during oral sex, maybe during rimming, there's a lot of factors. Point is, it doesn't matter who infected who, because we made a pact before we took the test that no matter what the result is, we would still be together.

Cure, Immune System and ARV's

Walang pang gamot na makakapag papa galing sa HIV

Pero

Pag alam mong HIV positive ka o nagdududang positive ka, try to stay healthy para hindi bumaba ang immune system mo.

eat yogurt, fruits, vegetables and meat
exercise regularly, or go to the gym
avoid stress
have enough sleep
quit smoking, drinking, drugs if applicable


Kung talagang mababa na ang immune system mo, (search online about cd4 counts) they will give you free ARV's or yung tinatawag nating Anti Retro-Viral Drugs

ARV's ang masasabi nating pinakamalapit na cure na meron tayo ngayon sa HIV

The moment na nag simula kang inumin ito, hindi mo na ito pwedeng itigil hangga't nabubuhay ka

Bakit?

Dahil ang ginagawa ng gamot na ito ay pinapatulog nya ang virus para hindi ito patuloy na makasira sa iyong immune system.

Kaya the moment na itigil mo ang pag inom nito, magigising ang virus at magiging immune ito sa gamot mo

Tali Sharot: The optimism bias

This is how people should think about HIV.

HIV epidemic looming in Philippines

The ABC's of HIV

There are 3 ways of preventing HIV from entering your body

• Abstinence (not engaging in sex, or delaying first sex)
• Being SAFER, by being FAITHFUL to one's partner or reducing the number of sexual partners
• CORRECT and CONSISTENT use of condoms

We can still live our desired lifestyle as gay people... Kelangan lang po natin talagang mag ingat

Meditative Prayer for World AIDS Day 2012 by the Rt Reverend Albert Bogle, Moderator to the Church of Scotland General Assembly 2012-2013

Lord,

I'm glad I can talk to you. 

You’re always there - 

even when my head is somewhere else. 

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed 

ashamed, afraid to face the future.

It’s hard living with a stigma. 

It’s not what people say. 

It’s what they don't say. 

It’s the knowing smiles, 

and the sheepish looks. 

They all add up to a feeling of accusation.

Lord, 

I’m glad I can talk to you 

Nothing surprises you. 

You’ve been where I’ve been 

You’ve felt the discrimination 

Experienced the betrayal 

the hurt 

the name calling 

the whispering in corners 

the religious prejudice.

Lord, 

You make me feel whole again 

You include me in 

You make me feel understood 

Your extravagant generosity 

leaves me speechless. 

Words fail me as I try to say 

Thank you 

You draw me 

You give me a place in the picture 

You tell me 

I belong even when I can't believe.

Lord, you’re unbelievable!

Latest Findings (2013)

This is our latest standing on HIV cure, how close we are and the current barriers.

Defense Games

Ever since, I have always been fascinated by online games, apps etc... the most appealing to me are defense games. It is a game where you have to protect your base from invaders by setting up towers that kill the invaders that are on their way to the base, you will be given a certain number of lives and then once they are able to enter, that's it. Game Over

Now, I see this game on a whole new perspective, the base as my body, the towers as my immune system and the enemies as the virus. Recently, I take it more seriously every time I play them. it felt like my life is at stake here... Its true, our lives are at stake the moment we don't take care of ourselves.

What are the things that can help us increase our cd4 count?

1. check with your doctor of what vitamins you should take because it might interfere with the virus

2. cut smoking, alcohol and drugs if applicable

3. eat healthy 

4. exercise

5. rest

6. avoid stress and sleeplessness 

You may not see the results right away but it helps.

The First Look

People have known me to be confident with my looks, personality etc... that is why the moment I found out that I am HIV positive, my confidence took a dive.

The very first time somebody gave me the judgmental look was when I was having lunch at the cafeteria in RITM (Research Institute for Tropical Medicine in Alabang). I was walking to my table when a male nurse walked pass me looking at me from head to toe with a look of disgust in his face.

I could forget the look on his face for days. It has become the most embarrassing moment of my life, that every time that I remember that moment I feel like punching the wall or my face.

This I believe that this reaction is just normal and I know (and I hope) that this will pass.

Please pray for me.

The Big Reveal

I just found out that I am HIV positive  last March 10th, 2013 in a mass testing in Malate Manila.
Me and my partner of one year thought it was the responsible thing to do.

We were both very confident that the results would be negative for both of us because we always practice safe sex. But when I found out that we were both positive... It felt like i just received my death sentence.

I cried like there was no tomorrow for a week, even people at my workplace were startled to see me that way (I would burst into tears all of a sudden) because I am always very lively.

The shock that I have felt at the time was incomparable. I would try to forget by watching a comedy films and laugh my heart out... But the moment I remember that I have this condition, my smile would fade away and then more tears would flow.

And then there was the panic. I suddenly became aware of ALL of the sensations that I felt in my body. Every small pain felt like a ticking time bomb.